Hidden Mirror
by RelapseAndEscape
Summary: 5 times Kurt was attacked, bullied and tormented and 1 time he was the tormentor. MAJOR KURT ANGST. Can be seen as Klaine or anti-Klaine yes, that's possible.


_in some way, at the end, it can be persumed that it is anti-Klaine, or even Klaine (yes. that makes sense, doesn't it?) anyway...yup, lazy Sammy. should be slapped. in the ass. but hey, come on, guise. you can read this for Klaine angst, and when you want, i've got new Finn angst for you anyway! -is still slapped- oops. i'm actually very proud of this piece._

* * *

1.

The only thing in the world that Kurt ever really had of his Mother was an aigrette that he pinned to his beret.

She didn't give it to him. He'd found it in one of her wooden drawers – God, his Father wanted to get rid of everything that reminded him of her so badly because he didn't want to hurt – and his Father didn't recognise it as his Mother's. Kurt pinned the feathery purple and green aigrette with its diamond jewelled base to his black beret when he first went to McKinley.

Puck shoved Kurt's beret off when his football buddies grabbed onto Kurt's arms tightly restraining him, then said something a lot like, "my _Grandmother_ doesn't even wear this…"

Kurt resisted the urge to punch him in the face, and he waited for Puck to flicker it towards him, but he didn't. He threw it in the trash. Kurt stomped on the jock's foot, pressing the heel of his black-fitted loafers against the jock's flesh, making the main one holding him down let go and the other one had let go of him in shock, as Kurt scrambled to the trash can – not caring if his shirt was freshly pressed Chanel, as he fumbled for the aigrette.

He couldn't find the feathery object, and just let his aching shoulders gave away as he hoisted himself away from the trashcan. He couldn't move away for a moment, and then dove in to look again for any sign of purple, and through rotten fish, insects, and obsolete putrid chocolate milk, he'd finally managed to grasp it – the aigrette had been torn, some feathers not intact at all, leaving most of it looking exposed, some real diamonds falling against and Kurt's arm was covered in rancid tuna and foul chocolate milk, along with a cockroach walking across his arm that made Kurt shriek – allowing the brown-shelled insect to fall on its shell, its many legs kicking into the air. Kurt threw up against the trash-can, in near tears.

The next time he stepped through the hallways, he was slushied by an amalgamation of purple-and-green, just like the colour of the absent aigrette. Kurt just apathetically looked at himself in the mirror, as he changed his clothing and pretended that he didn't really need an aigrette.

That night, he cried.

* * *

2.

Kurt told his Father he will not be late that night to his Grandmother's funeral.

It was wrong, to have his Mother die before his Grandmother. It was selfish and disgusting but he can't help but feel that way. Karofsky was pushing him towards one of the other jock's and then back to Azimio, and then back to Karofsky again, like a game of Ping-Pong, and then finally Kurt accidentally tripped over the tile, and fell head-first. "Whoa, Hummel, for a gay freak, you have _awful_ fucking balance. No ballet for you, babe. No fucking your instructors and catching AIDS—what will you live for?" he mocked at the end, teasing harshly.

Kurt broke his glasses and the glass scraped his skin into a bloody mess. He can remember being sent to the hospital with glass into his the skin so very near his eyes – he'd been nearly _blinded_ – and a bruised, bloodied, swollen lip. When his Father arrived, he told him that he was so sorry that he wasn't there for his Grandmother's funeral.

Burt just held his son and brushed his hand against his hair and Kurt told him that he accidentally fell on his face whilst walking from the stairs.

Kurt never bought a pair of glasses again. The disgusting world was better when it was blurry anyway.

* * *

3.

Kurt remembered the one time Karofsky shoved him down the stairs, saying something like "dance, Hummel, dance!" and then he ended up in the ER and somewhere along the lines, Kurt was just happy he wasn't wearing glasses anymore, or it would've definitely done his eyes in this time.

He thought his eyes were blue, but they were really greyer than he wanted them to be. They reminded him of rain.

Rain reminded him of Finn and Quinn's baby – of Drizzle, and how he could never have him. He nearly scratched his eyes out. He didn't.

Besides, his observations were not accurate enough, because the image in the mirror was blurry but he'd be damned if he'd get those glasses again and he'd be damned if he had to have Karofsky make him jump to grab for them again and he'd be damned if he can see the world again, because it was all a piece of revolting shit that he didn't really want to see. So he hid the world, blurred it between the lines—

And he picked the ones the things he liked, he decided, as he looked at his beautiful blue eyes, like the sky, not like the rain, like the _sky_—as beautiful and agile as the blueness of the sky.

* * *

4.

Kurt was pretty, so he wore that skirt to prom, and pretended that they wouldn't care and when Blaine found him after he'd been selected as a joke, Kurt cried. When he passed by the mirror, he swore his eyes were that disgusting shade of blue-grey that made him look a lot more like a demented disgusting child. When Blaine danced with him, Kurt realised that Blaine's eyes weren't brown – they were a _sweet_ shade of honey.

Kurt was allergic to honey. He wanted to puke.

* * *

5.

The biggest hit wasn't physical, or verbal, or emotional, - it was when his Father told him that he had the prettiest blue-grey eyes in the world.

* * *

1.

He hid behind blurry lines and silver mascara and nobody could see that, but somehow, everyone could. When Sebastian Smythe nearly hit Kurt with the slushie that could've blinded him, (oh, the pretty trend), that hurt Blaine – he couldn't help but remember that boy that was crying in his Father's shoulder about missing a funeral – so he just stared at Blaine as he wailed, and cried, like Kurt did, and he could only be his sole comfort as he held his hand, like Burt always did.

Nobody will know Kurt was the one that manipulated Sebastian (who knew that Sebastian's dead Father gave him a watch before he died that Kurt threatened to break?) to throw the rock-salt filled slushie at Blaine, to nearly _blind_ him and nobody would ever now that the small victim played the part of the tormentor, played the manipulative so well that even Santana couldn't have seen it.

After all, Kurt realised he hated Blaine, because he hated _himself_. Because Blaine _was_ him. And Blaine _needed_ this. Blaine _needed_ to _not_ see, because the world was disgusting, and if he _wanted_, Blaine can have the prettiest _dark brown_ eyes anyone in the world would ever have.


End file.
